When Nothing Is Everything
It was 2017. In addition to a full-time job, I was serving on the board of a three-site church, and coaching 2 of my kids’ basketball teams. It was a busy time! If you have kids-especially older ones-you get it.
LOOK AT THAT FACE
Sometimes doing “nothing” together is everything to a little heart.
I remember days I’d get home from work, Sarah would throw together a quick meal, and we’d eat in the car while trying to figure out which soccer game, basketball practice, church function, or family event we were meant to be driving towards. It was a season in life when we learned how to get intentional to carve out family time to connect with each other.
In the middle of that busy season, I had built a playhouse for the kids-a 9’x10’ shack built on stilts with a ladder up and a slide to come down and wanted to add a drop down bunk to make more bed-space to spend the night out there.
Our youngest-little three-and-a-half-years-old, Matthew-had high hopes to “help” me with the project. If I sounded like wonder-dad with all that stuff above, let me clarify, that’s a window into my life that you’re getting from the internet. My life is full of mistakes, lazy moments, failures and inadequacies, just like anyone else.
Case in point, on this day, sweet Matthew came outside asking, “Dada, can I help you please?”
To which I replied, “Sorry, buddy, but I’m all done.”
Cue the tears. Now, any three-year-old crying after missing a project with their dad would be sweet. In this case you’d have to understand, if you lined up my three children at that same age, Matthew’s tears were the ones that most resembled some combination of a newborn kitten and a precious moments doll. Saddest. Face. Ever.
Suffice it to say, if his sad little cheeks and round eyes didn’t reach your heart, you probably needed to change your name to The Grinch.
But what could I do? I’d finished the project and now I’d have to walk a dejected little boy back inside. Then I realized. He just wants to do any project with you. Just make one up!
I grabbed two pieces of scrap wood and explained to him. “You see this wood here?”
Wipes a tear from his eye. “Uh huh.”
“Buddy, I need these two pieces of wood to be held together really tight. Do you think you can help me with that?”
Face curls into a slight smile. “Uh huh.”
So I grabbed a deck screw and an impact driver and we put those two pieces of wood together. The result, as you can see above, was a beaming little boy whose heart was full. What I saw was two pieces of junk wood. What he saw was connection with his father. He saw he was valued. He saw companionship, priority, worth and a place to belong. He was claimed. He was mine and we worked together.
Sometimes, all our kids crave from us is time together. We think, “I’ll create family time next Saturday, or a week from Wednesday.” When is the last time you just made a cup of tea and said “how was your day,” to one of your kids? What about running a simple errand together? Maybe a game of cards?
Whatever it is, know that you don’t always have to do big things to fill your children’s hearts. In fact, sometimes the simple and the little will be more effective. The bottom line is, it’s your presence they crave. The simple act of being present means the world to little hearts.
Don’t take my word for it. Look at those eyes in that picture. Those are the eyes of a little one who received nothing. And everything.