ENCOURAGEMENT WEEK 1: WORDS GIVE LIFE
Your family craves positive words both from you and from each other. You’re going to take the lead to model this behavior. Words have the power to give life and to defeat. You’re going to be building a family culture that speaks uplifting words over one another.
This first week is all about your first small step. I recommend you take this step without fanfare or proclamation. You’re starting new rhythms and habits. I recommend you demonstrate those over time before making a big deal about it. As you show consistency over time, you’ll be building trust and your family will follow. Start small and build from there. There will be other weeks you’ll invite the family to participate with you. This week, we start with you.
Weekly Assignment:
Your task this week is to pick five specific things to praise each family member for. Make a list of things you see and believe about their character (who they are) or things you’ve seen them do (ideally recently.)
Using your list, deliver specific praise to every family member, five days this week. Here are some examples:
To your partner:
“I see how well you care for our children. You’re very loving”
“That meal you prepared was so good! It’s such a gift to us that you provided for us in that way.”
“You’re so talented at ‘x’, I’m so impressed with your skill/ability at that.”
“You’re so beautiful, I especially like ‘x’ about you.”
To your children:
“You are so…” (kind, generous, loving, compassionate, friendly, funny, fun, etc…). Here it’s also great if you can relay how that can be a great quality for them in the future as well.
“When you did ‘x’, I noticed that and thought it was so great” (examples: helped someone, cleaned the dishes, shared a toy, gave someone money, did a great job on homework or a test, made a great joke).
Keep a checklist if you need so you can hold yourself accountable to speak praise over each family member five days. Then watch as your family begins moving to new, lovely places with the wind you’re putting in their sails.
NOTE: You may be a reader who isn’t feeling very positive toward your partner or children right now. Maybe they’ve been hurting your feelings, disappointing, or frustrating you. There are many studies that show, when we express positive sentiment or take kind actions towards others, our feelings follow our actions. In this case, regardless of how you’re feeling, take the lead in starting these positive expressions in your family. It might be challenging and even awkward at first but you’ve already come here looking to improve your family’s culture so now’s the time to step forward, not to stay stuck.